
I've attended conferences with bad speakers, but this last week was the first time I actually ran a conference with a bad speaker. Ugh, it was awful. I'm sure this guy is capable, he has been speaking at conferences for many years. But this particular performance was a train wreck. (Note: I'm not going to tell you his name - I don't think adds anything to this posting and he may do just fine for others).
The theme of our conference was "What's Next" - so we decided to hire a technology futurist for the opening keynote just after our CEO's opening address. I was really excited for this talk - I thought it was a great idea to set the theme for the conference - and the speaker's demo clips seemed good (even though they were short). His references also checked out - including some of our partners who had used him in years past.
Then he started. A couple minutes in, I realized he was saying a lot of words - really fast - but they didn't mean anything. I looked (tentatively) over to my CEO to see what he was doing - expecting to see his glare staring back at me. He looked a little puzzled - and then quickly turned to his Blackberry.
The speech continued and it got worse. The "futurist" used slides that looked like they were developed in the 1980's. His examples included some far-out stuff, but also included things that people in the audience actually offered today! I though to myself, "this guy seems more like a pasturist than a futurist". Then I thought, "why don't they call historians pasturists?" Then I looked back up - he was still rambling on and people were beginning to shift in their seats.
I looked toward the back of the room. We started with 1,000 people in the audience, and I think we were down to about 800 within 15 minutes of the beginning of the speech.
It would get worse before it ended. He showed a video clip (without much explanation) that was bordering on pornographic. I was getting really uncomfortable. Finally, mercifully, it ended. the CEO went up and briefly thanked him. A couple people stayed to ask him questions (far fewer than I had ever seen for a keynote like that) - but I just had to leave. The buzz outside the room was awful. The speech seemed to suck the energy from the conference.
So what to do? I found my CEO right away and apologized. He took it pretty well - he gave me one of those "stuff happens..." answer. I realized that I had to do something. I had to acknowledge this travesty to the audience.
I quickly developed a Letterman-style Top Ten list called "The Top Ten Signs You Hired the Wrong Futurist". I decided that I needed to turn some lemons into lemonade.
Here's the list I developed:
The Top Ten Signs You Hired the Wrong Futurist
10. He insists on being paid in advance
9. He brings his presentation on a slide carousel
8. His technical requirements include “access to the Internets”
7. Three words: pornographic Japanese commercials
6. His references: Wang, Enron and Pets.com
5. He is represented by “Al’s Discount Speaker’s Bureau and Burrito Shack”
4. His big prediction: someday, you will be able to access the Internets on your mobile phone
3. He presents with a crystal ball and maharajah hat
2. His slides are dated 1974
1. He predicted that Cleveland would win the ALCS (note: the Red Sox just won the ALCS the night before)
I wasn't sure how the audience would react, but they loved it. After the session, I was approached by lots of people thanking me for acknowledging the issue. They were really cool with it.
What did I learn from this experience?
First, never hire someone like that unless you have seen them personally. For the conference the year before, we hired a
fantastic speaker named
Jeffrey Rayport. He spoke about the value of developing a strong customer experience. I also saw him present live a couple times before, so I knew exactly what to expect.
Second, if you do have a problem like that - acknowledge it immediately. The audience really appreciates it.
By the way, we had another external speaker the week before at our sales kickoff - and he was great too. His name is
Jamie Clark. He is a Canadian Everest explorer. He was one of the best speakers of that ilk that I have ever seen. He was funny, entertaining and amazingly likable. In fact, he joined us that evening at the bar and hung out with the sales reps.